I was the kind of kid who was obsessed with the past. How
people lived, what they wore, what they ate etc. Little House on the Prairie, Betsy-Tacy, Little Women were my books
of choice, reading them over and over. I often day dreamed about time travel
and living in the past during one of those time periods. I think the draw was the
simplicity, the seemingly goodness of the people and the family values. And don’t
forget the clothes (ha ha.) Everything about “the past” was romantic to me.
In later life, during my 30’s I went through a depression
brought on by tremendous stress over the breakup of my marriage and being a
single Mom to three small children, with no help and little financial
resources. I consciously worked at the parenting bit, but was in a funk in all
other areas of my life. What brought me out of it? Elizabeth Tudor did. I think
of her as having saved my life. I started researching Tudor times, especially
Elizabeth. I read everything, but gravitated towards reliable historical source
documentation. I dislike romantic fiction and shows like “The Tudors” for the historical
inaccuracies, but I love them for the costumes, hairstyles, jewelry and
interior design. I engrossed myself in
her life and while certainly she could be portrayed as difficult, as all
empowered women have been and continue to be, her empowerment is what I latched
on to. I came out of that time period with quite an impressive library of old
and new books and overcame my depression.
I became aware of Thoreau’s Walden around the age of 12. I often dreamed of having my own cabin
in the woods and living self-sufficiently and simply. The urge for this has
never left me, and while I get the cliché of it all and what Henry’s (I call
him Henry in my mind) critics felt about him; I still admire what he did and
how well he documented it. The desire to live this was way has been getting
stronger and stronger for me. Almost ten years ago I took a step in the
direction by purchasing two acres and an old house. Oh, I had big dreams! My
son Matt dubbed our new home “The Shire” and while it looked far from that
idyllic place, I was so happy with it and excited to turn it into a self-sufficient
little homestead. But I found out the hard way these were my dreams, not those of
any of my family members. No one really wanted to help. The kids were nearly grown
and going off to college. Purchasing such a place took most of the financial resources
and not much was left for anything else. Wrong timing. But the dream has never
died.
Through a series of serendipitous events my dream is about
to come true once again. This time I believe the timing is perfect! I will
still be doing it on my own (no more children at home) but that is okay. I feel
more than up to the challenge. I am moving to quite a rural property with many
acres. I will be renting a small cabin. There are plenty of woods (that contain
bears and mountain lions I was just informed) and lots of space for gardens.
Eventually I hope to have chickens and maybe a couple of goats. I think looking
back over my life events the only other time that had me this excited was the
birth of my children. Excited is too blasé
a word for how I am feeling. Passionate, inflamed, enthralled! Okay, that’s better
(I know I am a word geek.)
Things have been quiet on the blog, but that is about to
change. Once I get settled I will have way more interesting things to write
about! I will be back with regular consistent posts by the end of April. Since
I know that I don’t really have any kind of a following yet, because I have done
very little to promote this blog there is really no one out there to care when
I am back (except maybe my dear Auntie Rosie-hi Ro!) That is okay, if nothing
else I am practicing finding my writing voice and that was my main intention
for starting the blog anyway. I do wonder though if anyone can relate to being
attached to the past? If by some off chance you read this, I would love to
hear!
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